Monday, February 13, 2006

You Don't Bring Me Flowers...

Hi Poor Neglected Bloggy!

I tell you these full time jobs such time suckers! And while on the subject of jobs I thought I'd share this wee anecdote of completely inappropriate office behavior...

I have already mentioned that I work in a Triple Wide trailer. The gist of this is that it is a pretty small office so everyone sort of knows everyone else. In this minute microcosm of construction management there are only three women, my boss, my immediate coworker and myself. Fortunately despite our small numbers, we gals have a restroom facility all to ourselves.

So one day I'm sittin' there at my desk, which is pretty much the closest one to the door of the ladies'. At this point in the afternoon I am the only female in the trailer. And what do I hear, but some big man clumping around the other side of the trailer, past the men's room and into the ladies'. Now I try not to be a horrible busy body, but I just have to swivel around and make sure that I heard right, and yes indeed the door to the women's room is shut and locked. Hmmm, that's sort of rude. And then much to my dismay what follows the MOST harrowing cacophonic symphony of restroom noises that one hopes to never hear in one's long and varied lifetime. Not only were this man's nether regions making appalling noises, but due to his grunting and groaning all of the residents of the nearest county could tell that this man was suffering some grave and debilitating intestinal distress. In MY restroom.

And for some reason I am sitting there, cheeks aflame, horribly embarrassed, and yet pissed that this man decided to take the 7 extra steps and commit this horrible desecration in the LADIES ROOM! And I sit there arguing with myself, do I do it? Do I whip my head around and give this man the EVILEST STINK EYE IMAGINABLE when he finally emerges from his den of iniquity? Or do I pretend to have heard nothing untoward coming from the LADIES ROOM, and let the perpetrator get away unidentified?

And then it happened, flush... splash splash, crinkle... click, and whoosh. The door opened. And I completely chickened out, and found the most amazing piece of lint between the "H" and "J" keys of my keyboard to study until the clumping was only a distant memory.

And then the wall of stench hit me. Evil, EVIL, man.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh dear! menfolk eh ... At least you don't have to go into men's restroom daily to rescue your newspaper after it has been " borrowed"! ..a daily battle for me...

ireland olive
ps. belly looks great and progressing too!! blooming you are

Robert said...

Well, well, well...

Another room conquered! Conquered! mwuauahahahahahahaaa!!
Ha ha! You should have known better, and chosen you desk allocation more wisely!

Ph34r th3 5t3ntch!

Now poor Hubby is going to have to go in there an release an even bigger stink pickle, or he will lose you to the stronger pack member!

Honestly, that's how it works...I read that somewhere...

Anonymous said...

The really bad part is that you have no security...whomever this lout was could have committed other more horrible crimes...like robbing you, the only female in the trailer. I know this soulds like big city type worries, but how about a lock on the trailer door to see who is coming in, or perhaps a lock on the ladies room door???

Love and happy valenties,
Dad

Stephen said...

Err, come on Suz...everybody knows the women's bathroom is cleaner!!! ((= If your out and you have to drop a brownie, you don't really want to use the men's room... Doesn't matter who ya are... ((= Don't be so stingy!!! ;)