Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Storage Space Blues

First of all I just want to give y'all a quick (yet vague) housing update to keep ya from worrying about us too much. Oh, wait, you all weren't worrying, that was me! Heh heh. But anyway, I am not going to actually mention any specifics here, to prevent major jinx-age, but we do have a few pokers in the proverbial fire. It seems that at the very least we won't be living outside by the dumpsters. Yay! Lets hear it for roofed structures! Perhaps we'll have more news on Monday or Tuesday. Or perhaps not. You'll have to wait and see!

Moving on...
I was getting a bit morose today, which was no doubt brought on by my recent cold turkey vis-a-vis mountain biking, my insignificant yet nagging injuries, and a subsequent dearth of outdoor activities. Therefore, while hiking (for the first time in two weeks!) I was mentally and silently waxing faux poetic about the change in the seasons and what we living critters derive our strength from. See, in the last three days the weather has finally and decidedly taken a turn for summer. Thus the hillsides are losing their lush, soft, greenness and turning tawny, the wildflowers are fading from their flagrant purples and blues to wispy whites and dusty roses. And I was somehow equating my recent prickliness to that of the natural surroundings. I am becoming a desert plant that hoards its life force and wards off others through barbs and spikes. And then I'm thinking that diggedy darn that sounds incredibly shallow! Are we defined by our possessions, or more specifically, am I? Is it a bad thing to admit that I miss my bike, my climbing gear, my piano, my hula hoops, my sewing machine, my beading supplies, and any other pairs of shorts other than the three I currently have available? And then I was obsessing about how DOES one define one's self. If it isn't from our possessions and the activities that we perform with them, what is it? What would make me ME, without my bike? Who am I, if I am not in a position to be a cruise director and tour guide? And then I rounded the corner in this hike and saw the coolest thing ever. There was this bridge in the road that was crossing the base of a small but majestically frothy waterfall. As I walked out and stood on the bridge and squinted into the sparkling diamond spray and thundering mist all of my silly angst was whipped away in the breeze. This. This is who I am. And this. This is what I do.

And unfortunately my camera battery picked this very moment of epiphany to die on me, so you'll have to come out and visit to experience the cleansing power of the falls. Ha! And THEN a handsome young man came by on a dirt bike and tried to pick me up. Quite flattering. I walked back from the falls with a renewed spring in my step.

4 comments:

RobRobBinks said...

So, at the core of all things, who or what are we? This is a noble question that only seems to come around when we are feeling funky. When everything is good, happy and balanced, we don't try to unravel the very nature of "us-dom" as we often do when things are out of whack.

For me, my questions of inherent selfdom come up when I am feeling guilty about my true nature. Yes, I enjoy the occasional rousing bout of physical activity, but this past weekend found me enjoying my favourite sport of "Sitting Quietly", this time on our new front porch with a good book, and various yummies.

So in the absence of all things material, would I still be happily sitting comfortably? Heck, how "happily" am I sitting, if I am also beating myself up for not being more active?

A good friend of mine is currently on a mission to get rid of 50% of his possessions, and another just lost 30 pounds or so. In the meantime, I am hoarding more, and growing ever wider...

We ebb, we flow, we bloom, we bristle. Flexibitiy and Flow-osity are hallmarks of being human, and you have to accept and adapt to differing times in your life. I am glad that you found your waterfall....

R.

Talley said...

Look we all know you get cranky if you don't get enough exercise! Robert gets cranky if he doesn't eat. I'm sure there's something that I get cranky if I don't gete enough of it. My guess would be books, but I'm never long enough without one to know! Does that mean I'm defined by my books? No. Does it mean I'm defined as a reader? Hell yes! (I don't mean to imply that Robert is defined as an eater, just to propose him as someone who gets cranky if he doesn't get enough of something) So you're a mountain biker, hiker, climber, crafter etc.! Yay! embrace it and do what you can until you get the full scope of you tools back! 'Cuz that's all they are: tools. A plumber is still a plumber even if she loses her wrench, but she's probably very frustrated!

On a vaguely related note, I was assisting a photographer in this fancy schmancy, two level, professionaly decorated condo last week. Toward the end of the shoot we had to prop a set of shelves and realized there were no books! NO BOOKS! We eventually found a small cache of wine books hidden in a cabinet, but I suddenly felt like this condo had no soul! It was just this pretty, empty shell. YUCK!

Dad said...

Ahhh, the question of the ages, for which many many books have been written, and some even burned! As I read this, bootleggin' from my neighbor's wifi router, I enjoy all your thoughts so much...and can relate a bit. When my first marriage broke up, I was defined by Talley and Suzie, for they were the only thing that kept me sane, gave me joy and purpose, other than staying employed! And now that I am retired, my tools (stamps, MG, gardens, neighbors, etc) are part of what I am and share with my second wife and kids. And it pleased me so much to see that books are so high on the list for you, it was a big emphasis when you were both very very small by your mother and I...I remember Talley "reading" to Suzie in the playpen when they were both about 3! And now, excuse me while I search for that magnifying glass!!!

Aunt Kathi said...

Our purpose and joy in life changes as we change, but there are certain elements that stay the same. Just keep your joy, keep looking for what else brings you joy and share that joy with loved ones. The joy that you and Lee, Talley and Rob, Kathleen and Paul and others give to Mike and I are priceless! It doesn't get any better than that!